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ASCer Memoirs of LHCT2 |
TYSS...My Hats off to you, LHCT2 Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey's 6 ring Circus can't hold a Candle to LHCT2 organized by Steve Saka..........I'll leave it to others to fill in the Details but Steve's' developing relationship with some of the MIAMI Heavies' in Little Havana resulted in phenomenal interpersonal talks with the Cuban Poobahs that was just priceless, warm, friendly and full of, incredible Hospitality. THANK YOU SS, Bigguy |
Rooster's
LHCT II Report Saturday morning bright and early, we boarded the trolley and opened all the windows wide. This was widely regarded as a bad move as it was very chilly early on. The trolley almost popped a wheelie after hitting a speed bump as the Goldstones and Ask Fatty were sitting behind the rear wheels. The only thing that prevented such a tragedy was Saka and Bruce Kramer sitting up front ;-) We arrived at the distribution center for Padron cigars and Jorge and Orlando Padron regaled us with tales of the cigar business in Little Havana since 1964. Their father, Jose's exploits in Nicaragua were particularly fascinating. The hors d'ouevres <sp?> and cuban coffee made for a nice start to the day. Everybody got sampler packs consisting of three 3000s in maduro and an Anniversario Exclusivo in natural. Not bad. Jorge told the story of how Jose' went to Cuba to try and get some friends of his who were political prisoners released. Jose' was photographed meeting with Castro and Castro mooched a cigar off of him. That picture of the mooch appeared in the local paper and the Cuban expatriates were incensed. There were a couple of bombs placed in front of the store, death threats, etc... until the misunderstanding was resolved. It was really nice to meet these guys and get their perspective on the industry. Next stop was Nick's where we met Nick and tried our hand at rolling cigars. Nick won over a lot of ASC'ers with his brutal, Lew Rothman style honesty. This guy really tells it like it is. They had a really nice state of the art walk-in humidor with an interesting humidity control system. Learning to bunch tobacco was a trip since the torcedor teaching me spoke no english and I spoke even less spanish! I gained a real appreciation for the craft watching this guy work. He could tell just by feel whether or not he needed to add more filler to the bunch. Furthermore, he could easily tell the Olor from the Seco from the Ligero, etc.... To me, it all looked like leaf and I'll be damned if I can tell the difference. Of course if I smoke it I can. Nick's had some great Blazer knockoff lighters for 18, some nice looking polo style shirts and I also split a bundle of La Tradicion torps with Alex. Next stop was lunch where we were treated to wonderful cuban food which I can't remember. Saka gave out tons of wonderful prizes. I won a bottle of 10 year old scotch and donated it to the crawl since I don't drink (of course, even if I *did* drink, I'd donate it to the crawl). There were a number of really funny prizes and such which Gary Haberman captured on video. I can't wait to see the tape. Many gars were herfed and I think I was on my fourth by then. The Goldstone brothers presented Saka with a spanish cedar lined hunting hat which was a hoot! Next stop was Moore and Bode. Sharon Moore is nothing short of obsessed with the quality of her cigars. They use a different method of bunching and their quality control is very strict. I was amazed at how much thought they had put into the making of their smokes. Hopefully they'll get some fuller flavored tobacco soon. It was interesting to see things from yet a different perspective. I was astonished at how much tobacco the bunchers could pack into a single cigar! I wish I could say more about the various maker's methods, but a lot of it was proprietary, so I'll keep mum and wish you best of luck for getting on next year's tour (if there is one). Final stop was El Credito and most of us were pretty exhausted by now. ASC'ers lined up 5 deep to buy Ernesto's gars in that tiny little storefront was a sight to behold. Ernesto told us a lot about his smokes, his story and his philosophy, a lot of which I missed because he is so soft spoken and it was so noisy outside. However, I look forward to Gary Haberman's video of this. We headed back to the Marriott complex to shower and change for dinner. We arrived at the restaurant to an open bar and a very smoky room. The garlic soup and the salad were superb, but the prime rib was very average and a bit of a disappointment. Steve Saka handed out many wonderful cigars. We were joined by Al Goldstein, publisher of Screw magazine and a real character. Al handed out free copies of his magazine to all asc'ers. Following dessert, the booby prize of Fakesplendidos was presented to Saka who immediately spotted the FPG factory code and knew we were shitting him. Pretty damn funny. When he found out we bought him an Elie Bleu humidor, he was overwhelmed for a moment. Made us all feel pretty good to take care of him that way. The scotch was passed around and enjoyed by most. Roger Farnsworth fired up a Hemingway Untold Story which he didn't get to smoke very much of as Alex and I kept passing it between ourselves. That was the most chocolately tasting cigar I have ever had, just like drinking a chocolate shake. Anyway, I am sure that I omitted several critical details, but this is all I can come up with at present. I hope you enjoy this post and get some vicarious enjoyment of the crawl. Rooster Cronkite, signing off |
LHCT Recap: Long But worth it!!! First, had there been no stores visited, no cigars given out, no meals provided, this would have still been a hell of an event. Just being able to share some time with fellow ASCers, and getting to meet the "faces behind the posts" was worth the trip all by itís self!!!! Iím sorry if this post is late, but I had to be in Orlando until yesterday on Biz, and this is the first chance Iíve had!!! Let me start off by saying this was not a crawl!! This was truly a cigar experience. I doubt even Marvin could have put together the unique tours and special accommodations that these cigar manufacturers agreed to do for our group. These were not just manufacturers, these were friends. It was obvious that this was not done for us for commercial reasons (yes, Steve did have to pay these people, but not close to what they could have or should have asked for), but out of respect and friendship for our fearless leader Steve Saka. I donít even want to know what it cost Mr. Saka from his personal humidors in tokens of friendship to the people who hosted us, not to mention the favors he might be asked for in return!!! (I think I heard one of our Hosts saying "Hey Stevie, where's that Bolivar you promised me???") It is with sincere admiration and gratitude that I say: STEVE YOU DA MAN!!!! Now on to my LHCT recap as I saw it!!! For 2 days prior to leaving, all I heard on the Radio were reports of a Norí Easter hitting the New York City Area. These things commonly bring better than 6 inches of snow, and usually better than 12". So before even starting my journey, I was already biting my nails to the nubs. I arose Friday Morning at 4 am to find that it didn't get cold enough to snow, and it was all Rain. YEHAW!!! I make it to the airport at 6:00 am for my 7:10 am flight, I look at the monitor, and what do I see....FLIGHT CANCELED!!!! I run over to the check in counter and start babbling about having to get to Miami....the service rep says no problem. You've already been moved over to the 6:50 am flight, you have an hour to board!!! YEHAW AGAIN!!! I get on the plane and sleep all the way to Miami, knowing that tonight will be a VERY late night!!! Those of us that did not go to the Crab House for Lunch met in the Lobby of the Hotel for the Trek to Mike's. I won't mention who wrote the wrong directions, but at least I was following our fearless leader Saka, and nobody got too lost, as they followed the Moon over Miami Provided by Adam (See earlier LHCT posts for a full explanation)!! Mike's was awesome, and based on the stock they keep on hand, I can't believe there is such a thing as a back order or cigar shortage!!! There was not one foot of space upstairs from the store that was not used for storing cigars, and this is no small space!!!!! As for the Store....again awesome! I picked up a box of Padron Annivisarios, A box of LGC Piramides for less than they cost at El Credito, and last but not least, split a box of Partagas 150 Figurados with MDGesq and Maestro for about 1/3 of what Thompsons charges for them!!! Back to the hotel for some pre-dinner libations in the bar, and a few pre dinner trades!! Dinner was nothing short of sublime, although no waiter on his first day should be allowed to serve a table with a group like ours. He kept on bringing back a Fish appetizer saying that we must have ordered it, or he wouldn't be bringing it!!! Well service aside, the meal was FABULOUS, and I would recommend Casa Alberto to anyone ever in the Miami area, as long as you are 8 people or less, besides, Iím willing to take odds that Rip and Ralph must own stock in the place, as they seemed to not even need a menu when ordering, and I could've sworn the manager called them by name!!!! Back to the hotel for a quick round up, and off to ummm, well...errrr.....well, let's just say a very cigar and lap friendly establishment (If you need the name, email me and Iíll be sure to give it to you). In order to protect the almost innocent, I will not mention names or specifics, but thanks to Roger for starting off the Pass around!!! (Use your imagination for the rest of the evening!!) Hey Roger....how come whenever some one says they're not gonna mention names yours pops up??? Well, after a couple of hours sheep..oops, I mean sleep, we all board the Trolley.... what a great way to travel around little Havana. As long as the Bus is weighted properly, to make sure we weren't pulling wheelies, Adam and Fatty stayed in the Back, while Mark, Saka and Bruce balanced the front!!! AskFatty is still convinced that the people waving at us all day were really trying to tell us they were selling nickel bags. BUT, a trolley is a great idea with 40 guys smoking cigars, as we were not overcome with smoke as has happened on every other crawl using a bus for transportation!!! First Stop....Coffee with the Padrons. The Hospitality of this family is unrivaled!!! We were greeted with sampler packs including an Annivisario, and tons of canapés (Spanish Horís derves (sp) and finger foods) with Café Cubano and OJ. We were told stories of both the old days and today, including but not limited to the attempted bombing of their Factory here in the US!! This is a true family business. Others have already spoken at length about this stop, so I will end it here, with the exception saying that this family truly went out of their way to make this a special visit. Second Stop....NICKS. All I can say is that I take my hat off to anyone willing to give 40 guys that looked like us implements of destruction with very sharp edges!!! Each of us was given a chaveta (SP) That's the thing cigar rollers use to cut the tobacco leaves, and sat next to a roller to learn how to roll our own cigar, which we did!!! I rolled my own Torp and Double Robusto, I just hope that it will actually be smokable!!! We were able to keep the Chaveta as souvenirs. Nick was the Ultimate host, and held nothing back during his very frank and honest discussion about cigar making and the industry in general. Lunch, Well, as quick as it was, another great Cuban meal!!! Great raffles prizes and gag gifts. I won a box of Chateau Fuenteís in the first round, and also won the Grand prize, which was a Road Warrior Traveldor, along with a box put together by Steve's wife, of necessary evils to get Steve through a Stressful day!! It Included: A package of Twinkies Look for a "My day as Steve Saka" Post shortly... And last but not least, Bob Ray enshrined the infamous Stub of Saka from Last years LHCT (Steveís Monte#2 stub won in the raffle last year) into a stained glass shrine. The words spoken by Steve when he presented to me were....this must be passed on at the next LHCT....Steve, Does that mean you are starting to plan the LHCT 3???? Third Stop... Moore and Bode. This Couple is to cigars what Green Peace is to our environment. A little grandiose of a comparison you say....let me tell you, their commitment to making the finest cigar they can borders on radical. Whether you agree with their methods, or like their blends, no one can deny that the cigar they produce is one of the best constructed anywhere. I personally feel that the cigar itself is a little too mild, but I learned about the detail that goes into making a fine smoke. I also got to see about 10 different types of tobacco, and understand a little bit more of the different ways a cigar can be produced!! For what itís worth, Moore and Bode produces cigars differently than most other manufacturers, using a method called tubing, rather than bunching. Last Stop: EL CREDITO!!! While Ernesto's wife was a little upset that we were late, Steve being the charmer that he is, smoothed the way for yet another Cigar Guru to share his passion with us. While we were waiting outside, Ernesto pulled up with a Pick up truck LOADED to the Gills with a fresh shipment of Stogies from the DR factory (when I say loaded, I mean bumper dragging on the street loaded), what a sight to behold. He then proceeded to bring us into the back rooms of his factory which are rarely seen by outsiders, and posed for pictures with us as he fielded our hundreds of questions. Outside he treated us to more stories, anecdotes and history about him and his cigars, while we lined up 3 deep at the counter for a no limits buying frenzy, I think we cleaned them out of everything made in Miami, and put a good dent in the Dominican stock!!! Ernesto is a true class act!!! A couple of notes of interest...The El Credito brand is a TRUE LGC second, they have been rejected due to spotting, color, weight or other criteria, but are the same blend and made by the same rollers...NOT TRAINEES, and are available in every size and shade that LGCís come in. Don Payne even picked up a bundle of Maduro Torp Seconds!!! However, the El Credito bundles that were available at Holtís a while back in the white and green packaging, as opposed to the yellow, were in fact ERH seconds!! Back to the hotel to get ready for the El Grande Habana Feast!! I can't comment on the Elie Blue we gave Steve, as I had to leave early to catch a flight to Orlando for a trade show the next day, but I can say I made some great trades, ate some great food, and spent some time with GREAT PEOPLE!!!! The cigars we received to smoke at dinner were AWESOME, and I think I noticed tears rolling from the corner of Steven's eye as he gave some of them out!!! Once again, I bow to the Shrine of Saka, I am not worthy....But
at least I know I got a seat on the Next LHCT, so that the Shrine
of Saka may be passed on!!!!!! |
Five Great LHCT2 Quotes More details to follow - no doubt from countless others - but a quick taste of some of the best lines (sometimes paraphrased) we heard on Saturday while soaking up the collective wisdom of some of the world's greatest manufacturers of cigars..... "Never freeze your cigars. It'll turn them to shit."
"We always freeze our cigars. Otherwise, the threat of destruction
is too great. "We've had a bomb placed on the front step of our factory, had paint
thrown on our windows, and still worry about being robbed by desperadoes
when we travel to some of our fields in Nicaragua. But the tobacco
business is in our blood, we love it." "If this factory made a cigar with filler and binder from Pennsylvania
& Wisconsin, and wrapper from Connecticut, they'd call it a 'secret
blend' as well." "Making cigars is like playing the blues. It's gotta come
from the heart." All the best, |
LHCT2 - A local's view LHCT2's been over for almost a week now and I'm just starting to come down from the excitement of some of the best days I've ever had. As a Miami local, I'm well familiar with the stores, factories, restaurants and clubs visited on the tour, but I've never enjoyed any of these spots nearly as much as I did last weekend. That can be attributed to two things. First, what a great group of guys. It was wonderful seeing a lot of my old friends and just as great to make a number of new one's. It was especially great to be able to put faces to some of the posters who constituted the foundation of ASC ever since I began following it 2 years ago. I continue to be amazed at the quality of people I've met through ASC. Second, Saka. What a terrific job he did of preparing every detail of the event. From the great (and some gag) prizes that numbered enough that everyone got something, the great LHCT2 canvas bags (thanks Bobby), "Nell's White Fish and a winner" cigar grab bag (thanks Neil, Jonni, Steve), of which I've now smoked 4 out of 5 and each a winner, to Steve's first publication: "Full Maduro Jacket" which I know all will treasure. As for the stops on the tour: Padron's - Jorge, Orlando, Rudy and Jose (unfortunately out of the country), this is one of the classiest families in or out of cigars. Because of Steve's close personal relationship with the Padron's we were received there as honored guest. Given a pack of great cigars (including an Annivesario) the finest in Cuban pastries, enough Cuban coffee to get our hearts pounding and an honest, insightful view behind the scenes of the tobacco industry. You can't help but to respect these people. They sell great cigars at a reasonable price, refuse to compete with their dealer, and actually sell their Miami cafeteria brand at a loss so that the old timer locals, who helped them survive the early years (many of then are retired and on a fixed income) can still get a good cigar that they can afford. Nicks - Nick, Billy, et al. another straight shooting straight talking family that went far out of their way to treat our group to the opportunity to roll their own. The chaveta they gave us will be one of my prized mementos (along with the bottle of Saka's sweat) from the tour. Just to give you an example of what a nice family this is, I'll relate a little incident that happened after the tour. While we were at Nick's, Nick offered me a discount on a humidor I was interested in. I didn't want to take it on the Trolley so I said I would come back during the week. I made it back on Tuesday and as luck would have it, Nick was in Honduras. I spoke with Mary, Nicks mother, who asked what it was I needed to see Nick about. After I explained (and over my objection) she insisted on calling Nick in Honduras to get approval for the discount. Like Nick doesn't have better things to deal with down there. Lunch at La Carettas - They got us in, and the courses began to flow. This was Steve's time to give out the prizes and by the time he was through we were ready to leave, making up for having spent a little too long at Nicks. Great Food Great Service. Moore and Bode - Interesting, different, unusual and a chance to digest lunch. El Credito - A chance to venture into the inner sanctum of this hallowed ground and a chance to talk with Ernesto one on one. Steve must have pulled some strings for this one, Ernie is one of the hardest people to get to in the industry. Actually, the High point in the tour for me was seeing the look on Neil's face when Ernesto likened the art of cigar making to the playing of jazz music. Those of you who know Neil must realize that he climaxed at that point....I offered him a kleenex to clean up with. El Grande Habana Feast - Open bar, wonderful Havana's passed out by Steve, an excellent meal and finally a chance for all of us to give Steve his humidor as a thank you for the effort he put out. I had other commitments and was sad to have to pass on Craigs Sunday BBQ. I'm sure it was a great part of the tour, low keyed and a chance for every one to talk with out the hectic pace of the previous days. As I think all of you know, Cigar Stores, Factories, restaurants, Clubs and even the Cigars themselves are great, but it's the people that make these events special. So to all my friends on the tour, both old and new, Thank You, I enjoyed you all and had a great time. I look forward to seeing you again (hopefully along with a numbers of others that I still haven't met) at Boondoggle 98. Well, I've been awfully long winded. I hope you'll excuse that as I haven't used up much bandwidth lately. Rip (lonely with out Mig in Miami) |
A few of my LHCT2 Highlights Fellow ASCers, It was an action packed four days that started with watching Rip nearly cut off his thumb while opening boxes of my Secret Mustard and ended with my remembering as I boarded the plane that I left my gold watch and some serious dinero in the hotel room - nice tip huh? I could write a novel, but for now I just want to mention a few extra
special moments... Leading a restaurant wide jeer and boo against the non-smoking (and whiny) patrons at Casa Albertos on Friday Night as they departed coughing and gagging into their napkins. Wonder if Alberto will invite us back... hmmm. Probably not because I also managed to get one of the other patrons with this joke lighter that literally zaps the daylights out of you when you attempt to light it... Standing vigil over the wayward Kent Simon while he endured 15 lap dances back to back. It looked grueling - bet he has bruised thighs! When Oded of Mike's Cigars said, "You should organize more these Steve - maybe one a month.." Of course, we had just finished buying $15K+ worth of cigars in less than an hour...a store record no doubt. Having the waiter at dinner bring over a bottle of wine. Keep in mind, the dinner was at a price fix that didn't include wine - turns out RF order 5 bottles of '71 Chateau Lafite... aiiieee aiiieeee aiiiiieee Quickly identifying a box of "fugasi" Cohiba Esplendidos gifted to me in front of the entire world. I knew as soon as I saw the box... it could of been a very embarrassing moment had I screwed it up. Right after that Neil Ross gave this thoughtful speech and handing me a stunning Elie Blue Vista Humidor from all the LHCTers as a "thank you". I have been wanting one for years, but could never justify the cost - it always seemed so selfish to buy one for myself. I was completely caught off guard, and was somewhat overwhelmed. Thank you guys - it is already loaded up with worthy cigars and holding a perfect 70% RH waiting for all of you to visit it me in NH to smoke from it. When Ernesto said to me that he really thought I "was doing a good thing for the industry" and that he wished more media people were like me - "real cigar smokers". I know he was just being overly kind, but it was a very nice thing for him to say. When one of the LHCTers called me very early in the morning and said,
"Steve I am really sorry to wake you, and I wouldn't if you weren't
one of my best friends. I need a favor. I left something very important
in my room, a Montecristo "A" in the bedside table - I am at the
airport, my plane is boarding, but I really need that cigar. I have already
called the front desk and arrange for them to let you in the room. Would
you please get it for me?" In my hazy half asleep daze I said "Sure
no problem" to which he responded, "Great! Also please put a $5
bill on the TV...I forgot to leave a tip for the maid." Steve Saka |
LHCT2 "Fatty's Memoirs" Well I finally made it back to NY, #$%@ it's cold here! Saturday: The day started out with a 7 am wake up call. I had to wash much sleep out of the eyes. Jump in the shower, quick run up to the concierge lounge for some croissants and coffee. And my herfin muscles are ready to go. Bruce, Glenn, and I made our way down to the lobby to join up with our fellow tour comrades. The lobby soon filled up, a quick chat with Bob Ray (another one of my must meets) and the trolley pulled up. We were all handed LHCT2/FujiPub totebags, inside was a bottle of Saka Sweat, (PG) Saka's secret mustard, a first run edition of Jay Young's "Full Maduro Wrapper" and a package of Neil's Whitefish Specials. On to the Trolley! I grabbed a seat at the very back of the trolley. Along came Alex from Newport to share my seat. We rolled up the windows and we were off. As we made our way down to Padron, many of the neighborhood folk, who had just arisen, must have thought they were still dreaming. Forty gringos hooting and hollering in a big bright trolley driving past them screaming "hasta ______.". We arrived at Pardon and where treated to some great dialogue from the brothers Padron. We were served breakfast, appetizers and pastry, what more could a fat guy ask for, and the cutest little Cuban grandma serving us café. I left Padron knowing that this day would be rather special, one I would remember for a long time. Back into the trolley and we made our way to Nick's Cigar. They gave us knives as soon as we walked in! Did they know I was from NYC and this was a proper greeting??? Nick was my kind of guy, he held nothing back, gave us a tour of the operation there, and prepared his rollers for our education in rolling a cigar. My roller didn't speak English, but that didn't stop her from showing me her craft. I got to roll a torp and it came out pretty good I might add. I will be smoking it on my B-Day this Saturday (Did you guys catch the imbedded mooch in that last sentence?). We ended with a shopping frenzy, it was a great morning! As we left guess who was making their way into the storeÖa customs K-9 unit! Hehehehe glad my smokes were on the trolley! We then made our way to
a nice Cuban luncheonette/restaurant forgive me I'm not good with names
so I can't tell you the name of the place. We chowed down on some awesome
food. A gave out a few Opus to the Cali dudes and the prize orgy began.
Saka doled out some fine prizes, I got a cool frog lighter that ribbets
when ignited, it was gifted to the tour by Bob Ray. He had picked it up
in Rome. With lightening speed we were served and back in the trolley. On
to Moore and Bode where we split up into 2 groups one going to the back
with Robert Bode and one to the front with Sharon Moore. I was in the Bode
group, Robert showed us a few different kinds of tobacco that they use,
and this was quality stuff I might add! Then to the front with Sharon, I
was starting to feel tired at this point so I can't really tell you what
Sharon was clueing us in on. This was a first class operation, now if they
would just make a full-bodied smoke, I'd be a happy man! While we were waiting
for the trolley to depart we were served some sugar cane juice. If you like
sweet, you'd love this stuff! Now on to the ASC Church, El Credito! We were
greeted by a truckload of DR stock and Ernesto himself! Ernesto was a fine
host, he talked for an hour to us about his operation, and dispelled a few
myths along the way. I had gone to EC on Thursday to beat the buying frenzy,
but you should have seen the packages these It was the culmination to a fantastic day. I can't thank Steve enough for the time I had these last 2 days. I got to meet so many names and add faces to them. I got to meet The one and only Mig! Steve all I can say to you is Thanks! YOU PUT ON A FUCKING AWESOME EVENT! Count me in for Numero 3!! Thank you to all the people that kicked in to make this a very special event also! Sunday: The BBQ at Casa Del Stone. This was a time for all to unwind, eat, herf,
and reminisce about the past few days. Craig put on a wonderful spread to
feed these maniacs! We all talked and enjoyed our last moments with each
other. No one got thrown into the pool either! The day ended and it was
time to say our good-byes. All our differences seemed to go out the window
on this weekend. Any feuds we may have had in the past seemed to be brought
to a grinding halt. Any imaginary line that was drawn down the middle of
ASC was quickly erased! I am happy to say on this day, that you all are
my friends! |
Random Musings On LHCT II As the plane makes its turn from the Gulf and starts its slow glide into Miami I am still amazed at how big the Everglades really are. As we get close to Miami I am also amazed at how much the area has grown out into the Everglades. As Mig mentioned, he and I are the only ones in the Marriott bar on Wednesday night. It does seem kind of strange to travel that far to have a drink and a smoke with a guy you see a couple of times a week. Mig and I close the bar. Thursday morning and I am driving across the Marriott parking lot and see a guy wearing a "Heaven" t-shirt; I stop and say "ASC?" It's Gary Gillespie so I open the traveldor and hand him a couple of El Segundo specials- he hands me back a Monte #2. Why can't I find more people like that? Thursday afternoon I'm sitting around the lobby looking for no one in particular and Bruce Kramer and Glenn Brooks show up. They want to go to a cigar store in South Miami and I know the way. Mig joins in and off we go. I'm telling Glenn how to get there and Bruce is telling Glenn he drives lousy. Bruce wins- Glenn drives lousy just to please him. The shop sucks and I buy 2 of the last remaining Short Storys in South Florida according to the guy who runs the place. I am sufficiently grateful so he puts them in a bag. Thursday night at the Capitol Grill and Paddy has outdone himself. I'm sitting next to Art Torano- talk some cigars, talk some trash, have a big steak. This is what I came here for. Roger Farnsworth and Bob Clair arrive fashionably late; Kent Simon arrives just before the kitchen closes. We adjourn to the Marriott bar where we close it again. What the hell is this with a major hotel a couple of blocks from the airport in a major tourist city that closes the bar promptly at 1:00AM every night? Go figure. (Rant mode off) Friday morning and we are forming up to head for Joe's Stone Crab. everybody is going to follow me. The Bizarro Brothers, Mark And Adam, have captured Gary Haberman and won't let him out of the car. I figure they need the ballast. We are getting some strange looks from the patrons as we are standing at the door of Joe's which is a high class joint- 20 cigar smokers all puffing away, dressed as if there had been an explosion in a Goodwill store. Paddy, who again has set up a great lunch for us has to take flack from the Cigar Nazi who is in charge. Seems she didn't realize that the 20 cigar smokers she didn't have a private room for on Thursday night are the same people she reserved the room for for Friday lunch. FHISCTAJ (ends with.. if she can't take a joke.) The stone crabs were out of this world. On our way to Mike's and I am giving guided tour up Collins Avenue to Mig and Kent Simon when the Bizarro Brothers pass us and Adam acquaints us with his vertical smile. Mig is hanging out of the window with his camera screaming "Do It Again!!!" all the rest of the way to Mike's. The store is like a shrine- piles of LGCs and everything else to make an ASCers heart quicken. The line at the counter wraps around the display racks and a couple of local cops who dropped in for a single are frozen out. Oded, who runs the place tells Saka that we dropped $17K and wants to know when Steve is bringing us back. All he gets is a funny look. Friday night at Casa Alberto and we take over the main dining room. The other patrons act like the place is being fumigated and Rip Kemp is looking a little worried that we may have screwed up one of his favorite haunts. Rooster and Alex (mumble mumble) finally show up after their day trip to Key West. Somehow they didn't know that the rainbow flag flies high there all of the time (get a clue, guys.) Back to the hotel bar where the group splits up. Saka and the aficionados of classical dance take off leaving the rest of us to get drunk and tell lies to each other- something we do quite well. We start telling jokes, and by the time Bob Ray and I are really on a roll they close the place up under us again. Saturday morning and its trolley time. Bobby Holstein has donated LHCT II shopping bags and Steve and Little Nell have loaded them up with goodies. I feign extreme age and get a seat. The Padrons have set us up with a sumptuous spread of canapés and Cuban coffee. Funny, for the first time we feel like a group of SOMEBODYs. They tell us all we want to know except what brand they sell their seconds under (you really thought I wouldn't ask?) Nick's is a blast. To see forty guys acting blasé as they make really awful cigars for themselves- no one should quit their day jobs. Nick Jr. gives us a tour and lets it all hang out. He may not always be right, but he always has an opinion. We go in to buy a few things to make it worth his while to have his people there on Saturday, on overtime no less, and pick up a few things. Knockoff Blazers and Zino cutters are probably better than salt shakers and spoon holders you usually wind up with in tourist traps. We needn't have wasted our time; Steve Herman bought another humidor which more than covered our visit. Lunch at La Carettas and Saka brought all the stuff that has been laying around in his basement as giveaways. Bob Ray obviously learned a great deal in the handcrafts classes at the home, as his enshrinement of the Sacred Saka Monte #2 butt is a classic. Steve was not forgotten in all this, being the recipient of a Herfing Hunting Hat, equipped with cutter and lighter. Next is Moore & Bode where we were offered a view of what a boutique cigar factory is like. The cigars are not to everyone's taste, being quite mild, but the care taken in the blending and production are first rate. Steve told Sharon that we were on a tight schedule so she should cut it a little short- her answer was to talk faster. It's a good thing I took speed listening in college. Bob Ray and I split a box of North Greenways which will probably be aged properly by the time I send the grand kids to college. On to El Credito and a visit with Ernie. You had to be there; Ernie was surrounded by 40 guys who would have carried him around on their shoulders and yet he seemed a little embarrassed when we each asked to have our picture take with him and that he sign our LGC hats and t-shirts. It finally occurs to me after all these years what the EPC is on the El Credito logo. I got my wife a shirt and hat and she was impressed that I got them signed. Watching the Torpedo rollers it was all we could do to keep ourselves from ripping them out of the guys hand and lighting up. Hey you guys out there- if the stock at the factory is any indication of the the current supply, the shortage is over! Back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. Dick Pewthers shows up in a jacket and tie. He says it is that or the shorts he has been wearing for two days. We all agree that the jacket really looks nice. Then off to the Alcazar for dinner were we share the bar with a wedding party. "Hey Luis, remember our wedding reception where the whole place smelled like cigar smoke?" Something to tell the kids. Saka gets a gorgeous Elie Bleu humidor and a vile box of Esplendidos to fill it with, the infamous Al Goldstein passes out copies of Screw magazine and everybody get maudlin over the end of a perfect trip. Then in an unprecedented move, we all go back to the hotel bar and close it up again; four nights in a row- I'm getting my old form back. Sunday morning turns out to breakfast with Bob Ray, which is more like breakfast with Bob and Ray. Saka shows up to mooch coffee out of our carafe to get his heart started and he describes in detail the improvements he is going to make for LHCT III (Steve, you promised!) I lose Bob trying to get checked out and when we finally meet in front of the hotel I lock the keys in the rental car- with the engine running. Steve sticks around to offer sympathy and take pictures (thanks, Steve) and we finally get on our way to Craig Stone's place for the barbecue. Craig has a very nice place which is gradually being overtaken by staghorn ferns. With his collection he could open a bar in San Francisco. I only stick around for an hour or so as I on my way to the Gulf Coast and I am leaving they are finishing off the first round of the butt sucking contest. (No, just cigar butts on toothpicks, what did you think?) Finally on my way out of town on Monday I stop by El Credito to pick up another couple of bundles of Dos Gonzalez. I pull one out and smoke it in the "smoking pen" in St. Louis airport when I am changing planes, and everyone around me is making bad faces and giving me the finger. Gee, it's nice to be a cigar smoker. Tom Mullaney |
Spicy Spastic Saka Silly Stories LHCT2 LHCT2 was an incredible weekend crawl, brilliantly organized with 3 days of interactive events made all the more Spicier by some of the frenetic actions/coincidences of a very Spastic Steve Saka. To wit: Door prizes...lunch...... Bottle Booze awarded to reformed Alcoholic. CA initialed (cheap) stuff awarded to Only Rep of Smoke Magazine. Road Warrior traveldor awarded to guy that sold it to the original Contributor. Cigar Calendar given to guy who got 6 of 'em for Xmas. Travel Humidor given to guy who has a ton of em (me). Sheep dip Booze awarded to Mig. Guy who had big Tizzy w/ another ASCer Was given an 8x10 Glossy of that ASCer. Naked Cigar Smoking Video given to only ASC virgin. Best Prize..Pack of Cuban Cigars turns out to be phony given to major Cuban Lover. Also... Host Learns Big Lesson...NEVER Say "I'll pay the Balance." Saka misplaces underwear at Porky's. Horses pulling trolley refuses to go, unless Adam, Bruce, Marc, Bruce, Bill Hay, Ask Fatty and Saka sit in assigned seats, over specially reinforced floor! Oded at Mikes insists elevator is out of order......please use stairs! Mig and Farnsworth orders "wine for Everybody" at Saka-paid Dinner & SS Gets Apoplexy. Unnamed ASCer orders Birthday cake for a dinner and SS gets Apoplexy! At every Factory Every Ascer lines up to Buy Boxes, inundates Hosts & SS gets Apoplexy. At every meal all Ascer smoke 2 to 3 cigars and all other patrons leave, & SS gets Apoplexy. Saka sweats a Bundle and looses 10 pounds. More and Bode tells us of "Left" and "Right" rolled cigars and Adam proceeds to smoke a right rolled cigar by turning it left and it goes straight up his nose where he smokes it gently (at first). Saka follows direction to BBQ and ends up in Ocean, completely losing Mark Williams who is trying to find Him. Last day Saka leaves watch, Money and underpants and socks in Hotel room and gets on plane half-naked. Smoke alarm goes off from body smell! Saka is one COOOOOOL Dude! Bigguy |
Withdrawal!: LHCT 2 Two weeks ago yesterday a great moment happened. LHCT 2. A great time, multiple pre and post events, many new friends and encounters with old friends. What a great time Poobah Saka provided, with help from Pat Delaney and Craig Stone! How many of the 40 LHCT TWOers are experiencing withdrawal? Are you finding yourself fidgeting with your blazer, wishing you could light Gary Haberman's cigar or trade jokes with the Goldstones? Do you miss the Marriott Bar where all the servers 'knew our names'? Do you reminisce warmly about the bitch manager at Joe's Stone Crabs? Have you thought of questions you should have posed to Ernie Carillo, or the Padrons, or Sharon Moore, or Nick? Do you regret not spending more time with Bob Granata or Roger Farnsworth or Rip Kemp? I do. Do you have flashbacks to the amazingly funny time in the garage at Mike's
on Friday? I do. Remember when this really old goat (90 plus)
pulled into the parking lot and someone said "Is that Steve Herman?"
and I answered, "NO! He's not OLD enough!!!!!" The
oddity of drinking cuban coffee in a parking garage and being told to go
to the bathroom in some coffee shop on the other side of the alley?
Or me, once again, lighting a cigar with the CELLO ON!!!!!?????? Closing the Marriott Bar with El Segundo almost every night! Watching Marc Goldstone spill a glass of ice tea at Joe's. Conspiring with Pledge Roger to supply wine to everyone at dinner, knowing that Saka would pop a vein!!! Hearing more of Neil's great stories in the Marriott Bar. Sucking Scotch in Mark William's room (TYMW). Watching Saka hyperventilate during lunch as he rushed the waiters to serve us while he distributed the prizes. The well deserved relaxation at the Stone Mansion---what a great post event BBQ! The message from the Marriott manager about the 'smoke problem' in my room (TYNR!) Laughing continuously during the ride to the airport as Bob Ray told jokes. Monday dinner with good friend Rip Kemp. It's really unfair that this is over. Steve should organize this on a monthly basis. Mig Missing Miami |
